No Longer Weak Read online

  I stretched my leg under the table and trailed my toe up Finnley’s leg. He shot me a sanctimonious look, then shook his head slightly. Finnley didn’t want to play; too bad I wasn’t on the same page as him. I watched as he added salt and pepper to his food, and took his first bite. As soon as he did, I grazed up his leg with my toe again, and tucked my foot between his legs. I could feel his growing hardness. He wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin and stared at me as I slowly massaged his dick with my toes.

  “Finnley. How’s work going? How are you, son?” Emma asked.

  He swallowed, glanced at me, then turned and looked at his mother. He was a master actor.

  “It’s going great. I promoted someone to take over while I’m away, and she’s keeping everything moving smoothly. It’s like I’m not even gone. I’m doing fine. Just a little sore, but that’s to be expected.”

  “When will you return to work?” Luke asked.

  “Not sure yet. I want to get back as soon as possible though,” Finnley said.

  I knew the day would come when he would go back to work, but it’d been nice to know that no matter what, he would be here. Once I was left completely alone, I would have to deal with my demons. While it was what I wanted, I wasn’t sure whether I was prepared.

  Once more, I ran my toe up the side of his leg and down his shaft. He grabbed my toes with a strong hand and massaged the pad of my foot with his thumb. Emotions swirled through me, and though I knew he was upset, I didn’t want him to be. There were methods behind my madness, reasons that he would have to understand. I wanted to be with him forever, no doubt about that, but I couldn’t wear the ring, yet.

  He sipped his orange juice, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. After breakfast was finished, we all helped clean up. Emma and Franklin were slightly jet lagged and wanted to nap it off. Luke was heading back home, though we had all planned to get back together this afternoon. After we said our goodbyes, Finnley grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs.

  My nervousness played Ping-Pong in my stomach, and my heart raced. When we walked into the bedroom, I turned around and watched Finnley lock the door behind him. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door. I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to admiring him, or calling him mine.

  His cotton jogging pants hung low on his hips, and his grey t-shirt fit his body as if it had been made just for him. He ran his fingers through his messy hair and stared at me. He was waiting for me to start the conversation, but I couldn’t find the words.

  How could I tell him that I wasn’t ready for this yet?

  FINNLEY

  Two

  I stared at her. There were moments when I couldn’t believe someone as beautiful as her felt so strongly for me. It felt like a dream. She couldn’t avoid this conversation. She tucked her brown hair behind her ears, sat on the edge of the bed, and stared at me. Her eyes roamed from my legs, to my hips, and up to my mouth. I stayed leaning against the door.

  She opened her mouth, then closed it and looked down at her hands. My patience waned. Slowly, I walked to her without taking my eyes off her. I sat down on the bed, and she turned to look at me. A single tear ran down her face, and I wiped it away.

  “I can’t, Finn. I can’t wear the ring right now. If Jesse sees me on the street with that ring on, it will provoke her. I can’t risk myself or us.”

  I ran my fingers through her hair, leaned in, and pressed my lips against hers. A volcano of emotions erupted inside me. “I’m not giving up on you, Jennifer. I’m with you until the end. Ring, no ring. Marriage, no fucking marriage. We are in this together, forever. It’s okay if you’re not ready, but you have to be honest with me, in all things. No matter what.” I whispered the last part into her mouth, then grabbed the bottom of her chin and forced her to look into my eyes. I wanted to see her soul.

  “There is not a single doubt inside me when it comes to being with you. Not one. I just need time.”

  She moved in closer. Her hands lightly trailed up my stomach, and then we were kissing, kissing to save our lives, kissing to prove our love. We fell back onto the bed, trying to breathe each other in. I needed her, more of her, and I couldn’t seem to ever get enough. As her hands memorized every inch of my body, an imprint of this moment was burned into my memory. We had nothing to lose but ourselves, and I was ready. I needed her so badly. It had been too long since we’d had our time together.

  “You’re like a dream, Finnley.” Every word she whispered was between kisses and touches.

  “If this is a dream, I never want to wake.” I pulled away and looked into her golden brown eyes, then chuckled slightly. She had destroyed me, completely broken down every barrier that I had built around my heart. Being with her made me whole, and I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else. Ever.

  She rolled over and straddled me over my clothes. Then she dipped down and devoured my lips. Her hair surrounded my face as she hovered inches above me. I smiled, then she leaned in and stole my breath away. With soft hands, she lifted my shirt then slowly kissed her way down my stomach. My breathing increased, and it was just the reaction she needed to continue. She stood and took her shirt off, then slipped her pajamas and panties off her body. In front of me was a beautiful goddess that only the angels themselves could have created. Every curve, every muscle of her was pure perfection.

  I tucked my hands behind my head and smiled as she walked sexily toward the bed. She crawled over to me then hooked her fingers on the band of my jogging pants, and slowly peeled them off my body. She glanced at the wound on my side and trailed her fingers across it. I sighed and she smiled. With soft lips, she kissed up my legs, licked down the length of my dick, then placed me inside her mouth. I moaned when she ran her fingers up my legs and teased me with her tongue. It was almost too much for me to handle. I closed my eyes and fully took in every single touch.

  “What are you doing to me?” I asked. Her mouth trailed up my stomach. She licked my nipple then met my mouth as she slid onto my dick. Being inside her felt like home. She gasped and flung her head back as I filled her with my length.

  “You’re so fucking naughty, Ms. Downs.”

  “You haven’t seen naughty yet,” she said.

  Without rushing, she rocked her hips back and forth. From the tip of my dick down to the bottom, she took me, all of me. Then her speed increased, and she leaned down and kissed my mouth. Our tongues swirled and fought a battle that neither one would win. I grabbed her waist, and we were both still, as close as two humans could possibly be, skin upon skin. I intertwined my fingers with hers and flipped her on her back. Control. I needed it. I craved it. I wanted her to feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I wanted to worship every inch of her body, so maybe she would understand that what we had was real.

  Her breasts rose and fell with each deep breath she took. I kissed her neck then sucked the bottom of her ear. Nails scratched down my back as I pushed deep inside her. I nibbled on her bottom lip as she gasped. I picked up the pace, and she moaned and screamed my name.

  I laughed into her neck. “My parents are downstairs, Ms. Downs.”

  Her eyes bolted open. “I wasn’t being that loud was I? Oh God.”

  “I’m kidding. They can’t hear you.” She slapped my chest and relaxed, but I didn’t stop.

  She grabbed the sheets, knuckles white, and I knew she was close. She panted with passion and leaned up to kiss me. Her mouth dropped open, and then she was losing herself on me, moaning. With hard, slow thrusts, I continued on.

  “Come, Finnley. I want to feel you,” she said.

  Being with her was different from the one-night stands I had before I met her. I used to fuck without feelings, without care. Being with Jennifer held something deeper—emotions wrapped in love.

  We were both breathless, lost in the moment of being together. She released a sigh of satisfaction as I stayed inside her. I brushed my nose against hers, leaned down, and kissed her.

  “I’ll never be ab
le to get enough of you,” I said.

  “I hope you never do,” she said.

  I wouldn’t.

  JENNIFER

  Three

  I loved the smell of his skin.

  We fell asleep and slept until the sun was high in the sky. I woke to Finnley’s lips pressing against my cheek. My eyes fluttered open, and he smiled and pulled me close. I snuggled against him. An hour passed, then he scooted out of bed, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shower. The steam from the hot water filled the room. The water fell over us as we washed away our sins. With strong hands, he lathered my body with soap and massaged the tightness from my shoulders. I melted in his touch, as warm water covered our bodies. I looked up and kissed the bottom of his jaw. After I was clean, I took the time to wash every inch of him as well. I knew people said sharing showers conserved water, but considering we weren’t in a rush, I didn’t think that was possible.

  He stepped out of the shower and held a towel out for me, then lifted an eyebrow.

  “What?” I asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

  “You’re just so fucking beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed me on my forehead, and my heart swelled.

  We finished drying off, and before he walked out of the bathroom, he spoke. “Wear something nice. We are going out today. It’s time.”

  I swallowed then quickly followed him out of the room.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise.” He turned and looked at me with that smirk on his face, before he walked into the closet that was as big as a room.

  “I don’t like surprises,” I said.

  He slipped on a pair of dark gray suit pants and looped a black belt through belt loops. He pulled a hanger with a crisp white shirt, and buttoned it from the bottom up.

  “Which tie?” he asked. He pulled a blue, black, green, and gray one.

  “Black. No doubt. It’s classic,” I said.

  He looped the black tie under the collar of his shirt and looked in the mirror as he tied it in a knot. I wondered how many times he had done that. Thousands probably. I looked at him, and his reflection peered back at me.

  “Have you ever been in love before?” His question caught me off guard and sort of confused me. I had answered this before, I thought.

  “I’ve only ever been in love once. One time, I thought I was in love, but after really being in love, I realize it was nothing more than a childish infatuation.”

  “Sometimes I feel like we were two needles in a haystack that somehow found each other.” Finnley slipped the vest over his shoulders, buttoned the quarter-sized buttons, then placed the suit jacket over his arm. When he turned and looked at me, I lost myself in the depths of his irises.

  “Are you going to get dressed? I won’t complain if you’d like to wear the towel, but it’s a tad inappropriate and cold out.” He walked toward me, and I took a few steps back until my back pressed against the cool wall. He dipped his head down and bit my bottom lip, then smacked my ass.

  “Fine. Wear the towel,” he said and walked out of the closet. I heard the door to our bedroom close behind him, and I let out a deep breath. My heart thumped in my chest. He was driving me crazy. Nuts. And he looked so fucking hot in that suit. I squeezed my legs together and exhaled. I needed to get control of myself before I completely lost it.

  In the back of the closet hung the clothes that Finnley had picked out not so long ago, though it felt like years had passed. I laughed when I spotted the wool coat dress that had no buttons and a ripped seam. The thought of him tearing the dress off my body and the look on the woman’s face when he’d said he would purchase it regardless was priceless. Some memories couldn’t be traded for anything in the world.

  I went for the black Gucci dress with the sewn-in pockets, thigh highs, and four-inch heels. I’d be eye to eye with Finnley. Just a little mascara and gloss, and I was out the door.

  I walked down the stairs and, at the bottom, Finnley waited for me against the railing. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hold back the smile that met my lips. The lights were off in the house though the sun beamed through the windows. He held his hand out to me when I hit the bottom step and interlocked his fingers with mine. I sucked in a deep breath, and before we reached the front door, he stopped. “I’ve got to tell my parents where we are going.”

  I smiled at him and he walked to the door at the end of the hallway and knocked. I heard him mumble something, and after they replied, he closed the door.

  Abbot sat up on the couch and lifted both of his eyebrows when Finnley returned. Finnley said something quietly to him, and Abbot settled back down, though I knew he didn’t want to. This was a time for us to be together, alone, without anyone watching or hunting us.

  The smells of his soap and shampoo conjured all sorts of feelings inside. It was one of the things that I remembered most about him: the way his skin smelled. The curves of the black Aston Martin Vanquish reflected the bit of sunlight that fed through the clouds. Finnley led me to the car and unlocked it. I slipped inside, then buckled and smiled.

  When he got in, he leaned over and sighed. I looked over at him, and he swallowed down the pain from his wound. I knew it was bothering him, but he wasn’t a complainer. He would suck it up and pretend nothing was wrong.

  He cranked the car and looked over at me, smiling. Then he brushed my hair from my shoulder and leaned in for a kiss. I met him without hesitation. He broke away, biting his bottom lip.

  When we pulled from under the covered parking, sprinkles coated the windshield. I glanced over to him.

  “Are you going to tell me where the hell we are going?”

  “I don’t have to answer to you, Ms. Downs. You go where I go,” he said.

  I laughed at his words.

  “Oh, you think that’s funny? We will see. Indeed, we will see,” he said.

  Instantly, I stopped laughing. I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to know.

  We followed pavement for thirty minutes, and noticed were driving away from the city. We pulled into what looked like the back entrance to an airport, and I turned my body in shock. He kept driving and never turned to look at me.

  Finnley pushed harder on the gas, and we sped toward the end of a group of secluded buildings. He turned the wheel hard and the car spun around, then he slowly backed into a space next to the metal building. He leaned his head against the seat and looked over at me. Before I muttered a word, he was out of the car and walking around to open my door.

  I opened my mouth and shut it. He laughed, then walked over to the door of the hangar and unlocked it. With the touch of a button, he opened the garage door. Inside sat two planes, one with blue and brown stripes down the side, and a silver bullet. My eyes widened, and I looked over at him.

  Finnley stepped up the side of the plane, walked across the wing, and opened the hatch. He turned and curled his finger toward me. I tilted my head at him. He walked to the edge of the wing and held out his hand. I slipped off my heels then took the side steps and walked up the wing of the plane. I felt like I was dreaming. His lips brushed the top of my forehead, then slipped inside. Inside were brown leather seats, buttons, dials, screens … it was a little overwhelming. I sat in the passenger seat, and he leaned over and buckled me in.

  “Shut the door,” he said, pointing up at the latch. My adrenaline spiked. I was nervous and excited all at the same time.

  “You’re a fucking pilot?” I asked.

  “There is so much more you need to learn about me, isn’t there?”

  “Obviously.” I smiled.

  “Clear!” he yelled out the window then started the plane. The deep grumble of the first engine was soon followed by the second. He placed a headset over his ears, then handed me mine. I couldn’t stop staring at him.

  “Turn your volume down here if it’s too loud,” Finnley said, indicating a knob. He never ceased to amaze me. Just when I thought I knew everything about him, he surprised me with something else.

>   “You’re looking at me like you can’t believe I can fly,” he said as he punched numbers into the computer on the dash.

  “I’m speechless.”

  “Better find your words, Ms. Downs. There is much more to come.”

  Finnley began flipping switches. “Las Vegas ground, Baron five-seven-zero-nine-Juliet, we’d like to taxi for departure up north.”

  A man on the headset replied back in an aviator language I didn’t understand. They went back and forth in conversation. When Finnley had permission, he moved the plane forward down the runway. Once in position, he called traffic control for authorization to take off. I had no idea there were so many runways, or that the Vegas airport was so large.

  “Are you ready?” His voice dropped low, and I couldn’t stop staring at his lips.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  He pulled the yoke toward him, and the engine roared down the runway. Clouds and sky surrounded us. I couldn’t hold back the squeal when I looked down below and saw cars and buildings that looked like miniatures, and the dark-colored mountains that surrounded the city. We were leaving Las Vegas in Finnley’s plane.

  His words in the headset startled me because I was in my own little world.

  “Do you see the strip below?” He pointed over to the huge buildings.

  “There’s the Elite building, hovering over Vegas. It looks like a monster, even from way up here.”

  He sounded like a proud parent when he spoke of the Elite. I smiled as I thought about everything that had happened. Too many what-if’s flashed through my thoughts. I knew that everything had happened exactly how it should have, or I wouldn’t be right here in this moment.

  The plane separated the clouds, and I couldn’t see the ground below or anything but white cotton. My body tensed when we hit a little turbulence.

  “No need to be nervous. I’ve had lots of practice.” He was laughing at me.

  I leaned my head against the seat and closed my eyes until we had cleared the clouds. I wondered how many other women he had impressed with his flying skills.