Weak for Him Page 15

  "I understand."

  He left me empty with no promises.

  No insinuations. Nothing.

  And he meant it had to stop.

  I accepted it. I was too tired to continue.

  I had to because Finnley started dating, and looked past me in a crowd of people as if I were nothing. I became invisible as the days turned into nights, and nights into days. I was stuck in a loop until I felt like my old self again. Then I was released to go back to work. Work.

  I had someone to take my mind from it all. I would give myself to someone that made me happy and enjoyed spending every minute with me: Luke.

  The dates were short and sweet. We took walks in the park, shared a few secrets, and joked about cowboys and beaches. A month had come and gone, and I was over Finn. Not seeing him helped.

  Since I was on the job again, Jesse made sure to setup a meeting in Mr. Felton's office about my behavior, and I was given a verbal warning about being unprofessional at the dress shop.

  I had forgotten all about the masturbation mishap.

  Mr. Felton, in his three-piece suit, acted as a witness to my warning. It was the first time I had seen him in weeks. I refused to make eye contact and kept my eyes to the floor. Apologized and agreed it would never happen again. It couldn't and wouldn't. We stood to leave, and before I left, Mr. Felton called me back into the office. Once inside and alone, Mr. Felton burst into laughter.

  Embarrassed, I put my hand over my eyes and waited for it to be over.

  Note taken. Being the bitch she was, Jesse made him sign my warning, and lesson fucking learned. Not sure why I never expected it to be exposed, considering Jesse still rode my ass and hated me.

  "I didn't know you had it in you. And the things you said to Sophia, was that her name? Hilarious."

  "It was your fault, you know. You turned me into a sex-crazed monster," I said dryly.

  "No, Ms. Downs, I just unlocked the door."

  I didn't want to be there.

  His smell, his office, everything about him was smothering.

  Making me sick to my stomach and made my head reel. I couldn't be around him. I needed to leave.

  We never talked about the day in the dress shop when he pinned me against the wall, or the night at the party when he made me come twice; those things had slid behind us in the dark.

  His face went serious as I sat in front of him, and I finally made eye contact. He turned his head and walked to the window, staring out over the city streets. He couldn't look at me either.

  "I've tried to forget that day many times. It was stupid of me."

  I didn't want him to talk about it.

  "It was inappropriate," he continued.

  My body stiffened, and I couldn't respond. I didn't want to conjure up the feelings that I had tried to bury over the past few weeks. The ones that had almost vanished with time.

  "I'm just glad it's behind us, and you've moved on," I said.

  "I am, too. It was for the best. Nancy and I are having such a wonderful time. Did you see the pictures of Colorado?"

  I had seen the pictures of their getaway weekend. Jesse passed them around the dinner table one night, hoping to get a rise out of me, I suspected, but didn't.

  "Yeah. She's a beautiful woman. Just your type. Are you happy?" I asked him.

  "Very. I haven't felt this way in a long time. Like I finally could settle down again and start a new life. It's nice, you know?"

  "Yeah. That's great."

  Finn continued to look out the window. "Oh look, Charlie just arrived to pick you up. Wouldn't want to keep him waiting. He's on a tight schedule today."

  "Right." I grabbed my things and headed to the door.

  "Oh. I almost forgot to tell you. Tonight's the night, my dear. You have a special date with Luketon. By his words, Luketon feels that you are both ready to consummate the deal since Paris was temporarily canceled. Are you ready? Do you feel it's time?"

  His eyes gleamed, but the shine was no longer for me.

  I knew that.

  "Yeah. After the last few weeks we've spent together, I think it would be perfect."

  Twenty-three

  Candles covered the small table and a violinist played in the background of Luke's dining room. Silver platters awaited us, and we sat.

  "Stuffed shrimp and your favorite, macaroni," Luke said.

  I giggled.

  "Luke, you are so sophisticated with your fancy macaroni and cheese."

  He laughed with me. "Oh, that macaroni is for you, m'lady."

  "Wine?" The female servant asked. I nodded my head and thanked her as she poured my favorite cranberry wine.

  "You ordered Texas wine. Yum." I smiled before taking a sip.

  When we finished dinner, Luke stood and grabbed my hand. The lights lowered, and the violinist played a soft melody that was perfect for dancing. "Would you give me the honor?"

  His hands found their way down my body to my waist, and I pulled him close to me. We danced a slow, sensual dance. Our bodies' scents mingled with one another, and I felt punch-drunk happy. His lips lingered on the softness of my neck and the heat of his breath left me wanting more. He spun me around, dipped me in front of the fireplace, and pulled me back up to him. My eyes looked up into his blues, and he smiled.

  "Paris in two weeks," he said.

  "You're joking, right? I thought it was cancelled."

  "I would never joke about bringing you. We are going." He spun me around and back to him.

  "You're going to love the lights, the music, the wine, the city. I was offered a project and it may take me a few weeks, and I want you to accompany me. I know I'll be dragging you back to the States before it's over."

  "We'll be staying for weeks?"

  "Longer, if you want. I received the approval to take you this morning."

  Excitement fluttered. I wanted to leave tomorrow.

  "So you're a dancer?" I asked.

  "I've taken a few lessons, and so have you."

  "How did you know?" My lips traced the outside of his, and his breathing increased. Another few spins and a dip and I found myself back in his arms, smiling.

  "You've got rhythm," he said.

  My hands found themselves pulling off his suit jacket and throwing it on the couch. He lifted an eyebrow, and I couldn't help but think of Finn.

  I slipped off my high heels and realized I needed them to halfway stand a chance next to Luke's six-foot-two frame. Following my lead, he removed his shoes and pulled my hair from the tight ponytail. Brown softness fell around my shoulders, and he ran his hand through it.

  The violinist continued to play "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong as Luke led me up the stairs.

  It was go time.

  I smiled at him and took his hand.

  A garden tub full of bubble bath awaited us, along with two glasses, and another bottle of wine. Steam filled the bathroom.

  "Mr. Brand, if I didn't know better, I would think you were trying to get me drunk."

  He pulled me close to him and traced the outside of my jaw with his finger.

  "Never. I want you to do this because you want to, Jennifer. Not because you've had the most delicious Texas cranberry wine ever created, or because I paid for you to do so."

  My breath hitched in my chest.

  "Don't say anything at all. It's the elephant in the room, might as well make it known. I don't want to be here if you don't want to. I don't want to force you."

  I walked closer to Luke and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  "I want to be here. I want to be with you. I want you to be the one."

  Luke leaned against the bathroom counter and crossed his arms, waiting for me. As he took off his shirt, I caught sight of another tattoo on the other side of his abdominal: a key.

  "The key, it's new?"

  "Dance for me, and I'll tell you about it."

  That, I could do.

  I moved my hips in slow figure eights while unzipping the front of my
dress. Once it fell to the ground, I stood in cute mesh panties and a bra. This lingerie was for looks only; this set was for Luke, and Luke alone. His arms fell to his side as he took in my body, stomach, and panties. He bit his bottom lip and motioned me to him.

  No more dancing. I followed his command.

  With gentle hands, he undid my bra and exhaled heavily as he touched my bare breasts.

  "You're absolutely amazing."

  I closed my eyes as he hooked my panties with his thumb and slid them down.

  "Fucking beautiful."

  He moved his finger in a circle, and I turned around for him. I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world as Luke took me in. His hands—soft and erotic—rubbed my ass, found their way up my back, and massaged my shoulders. I pushed my ass against the hardness in his pants. The thought of him enjoying me turned me on.

  With force, I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. With the same vivacity, I scooted them to the floor and took in the size of him. My eyes went big, and I swallowed.

  Luke laughed, and instantly I felt comfortable. His fingers lightly brushed the outside of my shoulders, and he pulled me tight into him. He smelled like winter and spring mixed together, the middle of the two.

  "We'll go slow"—he ran his fingers across my lips—"I promise I won't hurt you."

  The warm tub awaited us, and we both entered, allowing the bubbles to surround our nakedness. We crisscrossed our legs and took in one another's naked bodies. I slowly leaned back and dipped my head in until my hair soaked up the water.

  "Tell me what you want to do to me," I whispered as I leaned back in the tub. His arms stroked my legs, my breasts, and my shoulders.

  "I want to make you mine."

  "That's it?" I laughed. "Tell me what you want to do to me."

  I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck, and he kissed my shoulders.

  "I want to make love to you until the sun comes up. I want you to know that you are the most beautiful woman alive, and pleasure you until you feel you can't take it anymore, and then I want to fuck you until I can't take it anymore."

  I turned around abruptly, splashing water, and he laughed again.

  "What? Please tell me you didn't expect it to be lollipops and rainbows. I've seen the way you've looked at me, Jen. Undressing me with your eyes, imagining the dirty things you'd do to me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to do those dirty things. I want to make you come, and then I want to fuck you senseless. And when you think we're finished, I want to do it again and again. I want to pleasure you in ways you've never been pleasured and hear the sound of my name being whispered from your lips.

  "You're looking at me like you had no idea." He laughed.

  "I want to whisper your name as we make love. But I want it slow…" I said, trailing my hand down his lips. "And then I want to scream it when you're giving it to me hard." I moved my finger, tracing the Mark Twain quote on his chest.

  "And then I want you to fuck me into oblivion." My hands found their way down his abs and lightly brushed against his hard-on.

  Luke moved closer to me, and as we stared into each other's eyes, I tilted my head. In slow motion as if the moment would last forever, Luke's lips met mine, and we were kissing. Soft kisses, the ones that make a girl smile days later. Then rough ones, the kind that make you want to liquefy into each other. Our tongues wrestled with one another, fighting the pent up aggression, and sexual tension that neither of us ever would win. We wanted to be inside of one another, completely together.

  Luke rubbed the bubbles over my breasts and trailed his hands to my sex. Oh, his hands were so soft on me, touching and caressing each part of me, and with each touch, I wanted to give into him, in the water, like in my fantasy.

  He continued to kiss me, placing his fingers between my legs and adding pressure to places that throbbed to be touched. Without hesitation, I took a tighter hold of his hardness and slid my hand up and down, allowing the soap and water to help guide my movements. He groaned with satisfaction, and I moaned with pleasure. More heated kisses and our wet bodies were out of the tub, drying one another off. We wanted each other more than summer wanted—no, needed—rain.

  With each touch, the sexual chains released, and I found myself begging Luke to take me.

  In his bedroom, different-sized candles filled the room. Before leading me to the four-poster king-sized bed, he had grabbed the bottom of my chin and made me stare into his deep blues.

  "Are you sure this is what you want?"

  I licked my lips and nibbled on his bottom lip. "Yes," I whispered.

  Luke demanded I lay down. I obeyed.

  I opened my legs so he could see every part of me. He was on all fours kissing the inside of my thighs, licking me all over, and buried his head into my sex. Working his tongue around, I moved into him harder. He licked and sucked every inch of me until I almost couldn't take it anymore and before I came, he teased me and worked his way up my stomach until his lips played on the outside of my mine. I moved my body to steal a kiss, but he pulled away. Teasing me, making me beg for it. When his lips finally met mine, I could taste myself on his tongue. I ran my fingers through his dark brown hair, and drew his face closer, but then pulled away.

  "We've broken the rules, Jennifer. We're not supposed to kiss like that."

  He smiled and so did I, pulling his lips to mine.

  "Fuck the rules," I said.

  "I am," he said, and chuckled. He ran his fingers up and down my body and kissed my neck.

  "Are you ready for me?"

  I nodded my head.

  Trails of kisses led back down to my sex. Carefully, he slid the tip of his finger inside of me. I moaned.

  "I want to be the first thing inside of you." And he removed his finger.

  More caresses of his tongue and kisses up my body and my temperature rose.

  His rock-hard manhood wanted me, and I wanted it. He straddled on top of me, and I could feel the tip of him close to the outside of me. I wanted him in me.

  My breaths went ragged as he sucked in air and positioned his body closer to mine. I ran my fingers through his hair, and smiled, and whispered between heavy breathing as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

  "Fuck me, Luke. Make me yours."

  And then the door slammed open.

  Twenty-four

  "Get the fuck off of her," Finnley yelled.

  Luke rolled off of me, and I sat up in bed like a prairie dog peeking out of the hole.

  Dark green eyes stared into mine and anger filled me.

  "What the hell, Finnley!" I yelled back at him.

  "Come here, Jennifer."

  "No. Fuck you," I said.

  Finnley walked to me, grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me to the door.

  "Get your fucking clothes on, now. We're leaving."

  "No. I don't want to leave. I'm in the middle of fucking something."

  "I thought it was quite obvious that you will not be fucking something tonight. If I tell you to do something, you will obey, and if you don't, then you will wish you did. Now get fucking dressed."

  I pulled my arm back as hard as I could, but his grasp was too tight. I couldn't break free and knew I would bruise. Like shackles, he kept hold of me, and even if I wanted to escape, I couldn't.

  Luke didn't care to cover himself on the bed, but instead gave a sinister smile and placed his hands behind his head.

  Finn placed his hand behind my head, put his mouth close to my ear, and whispered, "No fucking way I am going to lose you to this bastard. You are mine, Jennifer. I don't feel like sharing my secret recipe."

  That day in the kitchen flashed through my mind and the memories replayed. I knew there was no arguing with Finnley, not when a business decision was in play, so I angrily moved to the bathroom and dressed.

  I cussed him the entire time.

  Finally, when I had fully accepted giving myself to Luke, begged for it, even, was when Finn decided to not agree? He had months to make
up his mind, and fucking Nancy to fuck. I had Luke. We were finished.

  Luke would have been gentle with me.

  He would care for me afterward.

  He would make sure that everything was okay as he placed my virginity into his pocket. Instead of wearing it as a badge on his chest, he would have locked it away and treasured the moment. Maybe even paint a picture for the world to see.

  I wasn't a cheap whore to Luke, or someone that he could fuck and leave. I meant something to him, and each time I looked into his eyes, I knew that. Every time we shared a joke, I knew that it meant more than just my virginity to him. Was it love? I didn't know, but the idea of him loving me comforted me.

  The high heels fit snug on my feet. I ripped them off, and walked barefoot to the door where Finn waited. I breezed past him, and went back to Luke, who stood at the bottom of the stairs with plaid pajama bottoms. I opened my arms and tucked my body into his.

  "You're fucking beautiful. We will have our time in Paris," he whispered into my ear.

  Each tingle exploded on my arms as his lips lightly brushed the side of my neck. His hands rubbed circles on my back, then found their way to my hair. I felt like I was his.

  "You never told me about the key."

  "It's the key to my heart. I had it tattooed because you've already got it."

  I looked into Luke's eyes. He titled his head and moved close to me. As if Finn wasn't there, our tongues danced while our hands rustled through hair. We even exchanged cute, little nibbles of lips. We couldn't keep our hands off of one another. Oh god, I want him.

  "Paris," I whispered.

  When I finally managed to pull away, I continued my way past Finnley, who looked even more pissed than before, and walked outside. No hostility, no anger, just slight agitation fueled me. I had the key to Luke's heart, and it was the only thing that kept me calm. I was experiencing the calm before the storm.

  V sat in front of the house, her paint dark and luminous. I opened the door, and shut myself inside as I stared forward into the darkness.

  When I was a child, I would give everyone the silent treatment when I was mad. My mother said it was my father's stubbornness, but I didn't care. I knew that if I spoke when my anger level was close to a ten, I would say things I regretted. Things that I would never be able to take back, so instead of eating my words later, I swallowed them. Some habits and character traits will never die no matter how much a person changes.